Yo Ho Ho! Merry Christmas!
by Nuriel the Pirate
Summary: This is my Christmas Special! It's a parody of some christmas classics. Look inside to read more on the summary since the space on this is limitied.......
1. Chapter 1 Christmas Eve

1**This is my Christmas Special! (yay!) I hope you all like it! I do. So, here is the synopsis since it is kinda confusing and can't be explained in the few sentences given for summaries.**

**Synopsis (or summary if you prefer):** This is a pirate parody. It is a parody for the movie "It's a Wonderful Life", the book "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" by Mitch Album, and Charles Dickens' classic: "A Christmas Carol".

Will wishes that he was never born. Can 5 spirits of his life in the past save his future?

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 1: "Christmas Eve"**

The rain flew off of his long, brown cloak, whipped by the wind. His boots were caked in mud. His head was bent to make the wind steadier on him. This position made his back ache due to the strained muscles that shot cascading pains down his spine. He looked up to find his house, blinking away the rain that blew into his deep, brown eyes and proceeded to roll softly down the sides of his face like tears of great sorrow.

The small, wooden home was just within his rainy-vision. Again he bent his head, ignoring his spine's agonizing pain, and ran up the gently sloping hill, to the front door. Mud splashed and soaked his trousers up to his thighs.

The door was forced open and closed by him as quick as possible to shut the rain out.

Sighing, he whipped off his hat, and cloak and pulled off his mud-caked boots.

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Turner." Came a soft voice from behind him.

He froze and slowly turned, his eyes wide, to gaze at his beautiful wife who was standing just behind him.

"Elizabeth, why are you home early?" He stared at his wife's stunning red dress that seemed to have a design of black roses imprinted on it. She had tied a black ribbon in her hair and her wavy, brown locks, gently brushed her shoulders.

"Where did you get that?" he exclaimed before he could stop himself.

"What?" She stared at him, taken aback.

"The dress." he made himself clearer.

"I bought it just for you to see. Do you like it?" She spun for him on the spot, not taking in his angry expression.

"It's nice." he commented.

She smiled, showing bright white teeth. "What's wrong?" she suddenly asked, alarmed. Her smile faltered.

"Nothing. I"m just tired." He forced a smile.

She led him to a chair and sat on the arm next to him. She began playing with his curly hair, and lay her head on his shoulder.

"Will, before we eat, I need to tell you something." She broke off and he could hear a serious tone in her voice. But he didn't feel like talking seriously right now. "It's about something that happened to me in Tortuga," she continued.

Suddenly he sprang up from the chair and accidentally seized her wrist.

Elizabeth gave the slightest little shriek and jumped back, but his grip was a little too hard and she couldn't pull free.

"Let go of me!" she screamed at him, louder than she had intended.

He didn't know what was happening. She moved too fast for him, and the next thing he knew, he was laying on his back, on the floor, having no memory of how he got there. Elizabeth had sank to her knees next to him and was sobbing into her hands.

It was his turn to over react.

"Bloody hell," he whispered to himself. "What'd you do that for!"

Elizabeth looked up at him. Her cheeks were blotchy and red from her tears. Disbelief was written all over her face.

Quickly he stood and walked towards the door. Pain shot up his spine, but he ignored it.

"No! Will!" He heard Elizabeth stumble behind him.

"Please!" Elizabeth screamed and threw herself at him. "No! Will! Don't leave me! Please, don't leave me!"

She was gripping his shirt as though she could tug him back.

He shook her off easily and proceeded to the door.

"I'm scared," Elizabeth sobbed.

But he didn't hear her. He had exited the door and left her on the floor she had fallen to when he had shaken her off. She now lay there, sobbing --- he had broken her heart.

* * *

Quickly he made his way to the docks of Port Royal. The chilling rain beat down on him and soaked his shirt, but he paid it no heed.

In the windows of houses he saw families sitting down for Christmas dinner, and married couples stealing kisses.

It made his heart ache at how much he had missed Elizabeth. She had been gone for several weeks, meeting with the governor of Tortuga. They had needed to discuss affairs of her father's recent death.

He approached the tavern and saw that the lights were still lit inside. He imagined the taste of rum and figured that he had just enough money for a couple of pints.

* * *

Blackness.

The wind whistled.

Something cold touched his nose. What the! SNOW! It was snowing in the Caribbean! He was dreaming, he had to be. Slowly he opened his eyes. A bright light shot forth and he squinted at the shape of a woman nearing him.

After a moment he could see her face. He knew her.

"Mother," he whispered.

**HA HA! Cliffhanger! Alright well I hope you guys liked it.**

**OK, well it is very out there, yes I know. And it is very confusing. But it is confusing because it needs to be. So if your brain cells can't handle all of the thinking (which I'm sure they can) then I suggest you move on. **

**I hope that you guys keep up with my story, and next chapter is the explanation chapter.**

**There is a bit of abuse in it, but really it is only mentioned. I don't like to go into detail about that subject, thus the writing won't be in detail.**

**Please review!**

**Thanks very much!**


	2. Chapter 2 The First Spirit: Catherine

**Stealingseamonkeys: **I like your name by the way. Now the answer to your question will come, perhaps later rather than sooner I'm afraid, but it will come. Thank you for reviewing my story! It's much appreciated.

**Rouge-Pirate: **Your question was the same as the person above. You are definitely not reading too much into this. I think you're actually reading just the right amount. I love when people review and they read a lot into it because sometimes it's nice to have people see your story the way you see it; by reading into it. So thanks for that I love it! On that bright note, I hope you get the book for Christmas! It's really good, but it won't really help you understand my story better. It's only the fact that each spirit has a lesson to teach Will that's from the book. Well enjoy the rest of my story!(I hope)

**Williz: **Here is the update you asked for, and you always say the things I want to hear. Thanks! You keep me typing. Enjoy the next update!

**Chapter 2: Spirit One - Catherine Turner**

Her hair was a wavy brown with highlights of gold streaming through it. Her eyes were a mix of brown and emerald green. She had soft features and a moderate skin tone. She was tall, thin, and looked a bit frail. A simple brown gown was all that she was clad in and her feet were bare.

"Hello– My William." She grinned at him. It was a bright, white smile that reminded him of Elizabeth.

"I'm dreaming." He whispered to himself.

"This could be a dream Will, but it's a very good dream." A church bell rang from a distant church, and she looked up at the sky, her eyes closed. After a while she opened her eyes and turned to look at where Will was sitting in the snow. "Five people of your past that have passed on will visit you tonight. Each one has a lesson to give you to use in the future."

"What is your lesson for me mother?" He stared at her still not believing that she was standing before him after so many years of their parting.

She shook her head at him and smiled. "That is not for me to tell you William. It is for you to find out for yourself. I am only here to guide you."

She extended her hand to him and he grasped it after a couple of seconds of hesitation. She pulled him to his feet and, for the first time, he took in his surroundings.

"Do you know where we are," she whispered in his ear. "Does it look familiar?"

"Are we in England?" He exclaimed.

"Yes." She grinned at him as he stared, his eyes wide, like a child in a toy shop.

There was the small home, that he had lived in in his childhood with his mother, and occasionally his father, sitting between two buildings, hidden from view.

He truly _was _dreaming.

The street was empty and the bitter wind swept around him; breezing through his clothes and his hair. She watched him intently, waiting for her moment to speak.

"But why am I here?" He ventured to ask.

"Because this is where your first lesson begins my son." She answered, her eyes never leaving his.

He waited for her to respond and after a few moments she began her teaching.

"You have seen much my son," she began. "I know – you think I'm going to say: _Too much_. But that is not my aim. For people see the same amount of things. No one person can see _too much_. It all happens at different times for each person which creates the illusion of seeing _too much_.

She paused, waiting for all of it to come to him before continuing.

"You have hardened yourself."

He didn't say anything, but she continued as though she could read his mind.

"Take tonight as an example. You came home, and it was raining; you walked in the rain. You were already not pleased with something that day; what was it?"

He glanced at her for a moment before answering.

"I talked to someone that I didn't want to talk to." He grimaced.

She nodded. "Who was this person?"

"Jack Sparrow." He said grimly, staring at the bright snow.

"And why was Jack there? What did he want? What did he say?"

"He asked me, mostly, about -- defenses that I had taught her." He explained.

"Yes, and then what? You went home, and Elizabeth surprised you by being home early from Tortuga. But Will. She was not the only person in the room. I was there as well. Neither of you could see me but I watched what happened. Elizabeth put on a performance; or rather, a lie."

"Elizabeth doesn't lie." He retorted.

"Alas, there are two types of lies. Direct and indirect."

She paused.

"She lied indirectly to you. You didn't know that she was lying, and she probably didn't know that she was lying. She had something that she had wanted to tell you; something had happened to her. But she covered this up. She prepared a feast, and bought an elegant gown, hoping to leave you open to what she had to say. But you came through that door and you were not pleased. You hardened to everything she said. She showed you her dress, but you barely acknowledged it. Why?"

"Because I had gotten her a dress for Christmas."

"Yes, and it wasn't as elegant, and extravagant?"

"No."

"So you were jealous."

"Yes."

"She used her father's money to buy a dress, and you had slaved to buy her one, and it didn't amount to the same worth. Am I right?"

"Yes."

"Will, love should never burn out because of materialistic desires. Elizabeth will love the dress. The thought is what counts."

He didn't respond, and she continued.

"Then she wanted to tell you something. It was serious. But you didn't want to hear it. You jumped from the chair to stall her and accidently gripped her wrist. And she used a defensive move. It was one that you had taught her."

"It seemed as though she thought I was going to jump her." He continued.

"For a moment, Will, she did."

He stared at her questioningly.

"Do you know why Jack asked you about defenses that you had taught Elizabeth?"

He shook his head.

"He found her lying in an alley. She had been hurt. Will," she sighed. "It's best if you look for yourself" She sighed again and waved her hand. England dissolved around them. The snow stopped falling, the wind ceased, and the sound of drunks and pistols firing at random, filled the air as the port of Tortuga surrounded them.

"Over there." Catherine pointed out Elizabeth to him. She was dressed as a commoner and had a brown cloak draped around her.

Quietly, they followed her as she wove her way through the crowded streets. After a small walk she turned off into an alleyway.

"No!" Will called out to her, but his outburst fell upon deaf ears.

They followed her into the alley and stopped in front of a back door, just behind her. She would have opened the door and gone into the building was it not for the man standing in front of it.

He was tall, lean, and completely drunk.

"Excuse me, sir." Elizabeth politely requested, reaching for the door handle. But the man didn't move, and he grabbed her by the wrist.

"There's a toll to pay missy." He rasped in a slurred voice, and he cam within an inch of her face.

Elizabeth was smart enough to know that the toll was not in currency.

"Please, sir, I have an appointment to see Captain Jack Sparrow." Elizabeth pleaded with the man, trying to free herself from his grip.

Will saw it before Elizabeth. A quick flash of silver and the man had pushed Elizabeth against the side of the building. He had a dagger drawn and had placed it flat against the side of her face. For a moment he couldn't breathe. Here was his wife, about to be hurt in front of him and he couldn't do anything to help her.

The man slid the dagger down herneck and around the neck of her dress, and in one swift stroke he slit the laces of her corset which was laced in the front on the outside of her dress.

He watched the man beat his wife; his Elizabeth. He watched the man abuse her. He raped her right before him. But he couldn't do anything. He sat there numbly on a barrel, letting tears roll down the sides of his face as he watched, wishing it were a dream.

But he didn't wake.

* * *

The sounds of Tortuga were not muffled as Elizabeth lay in the street. She still had her dress on and it was ripped severely. Her shoulder was sliced, and she had a cut on the side of her face from the man striking her to force her down, with the dagger.

He had watched as she fought to defend herself from the man hurting her. She had attempted every defense that he had taught her. But the other man had blocked her every move.

Footsteps came down the quiet alleyway and Elizabeth didn't flinch. The footsteps quickened and broke into a run. The person running got close enough for Will to see his face, and he gasped. It was Captain Jack Sparrow!

"Elizabeth," Jack exclaimed as he saw the person lying in the street

Jack knelt next to Elizabeth's motionless form. He grabbed her brown cloak which had fallen next to her in the struggle, and he wrapped her in it and lifted her into his arms. He went with her, through the door which she had been trying to get to.

Will made to follow but the scene began to vanish before him.

"But he took her." He rambled. "Where did he take her?"

"She's fine, Will." Catherine answered calmly. "Jack went to look after her."

"When did that happen?" He looked at his mother. "Why wasn't I notified? Immediately!"

"What would you have done? What could you have done, Will?"

"I should have gone with her." He said to himslef as England began to surround them once more. "I was going to go with her. But..."

"You got too busy." His mother finished for him.

He nodded and pounded his fist against the brick wall of a building. "I'm so stupid!" He spat.

"Will." Catherine said. "It's almost time for me to leave you. But you must know that, had you not taught Elizabeth defenses, she would have died."

"Mother? Where was Jack when Elizabeth was... getting..." he couldn't finish his sentence.

"Elizabeth had gone to the wrong building. When Jack finally decided to go find her, he was too late."

In the distance a church bell rang.

"Now I must leave you my son."

"What is your lesson for me?"

"Love. Love more than the day before and less than you will in days to come."

With that she turned and walked down the street and vanished.

Blackness.

* * *

**so, i hope that you guys all liked it. i did. this is propably my favorite chapter. anyway, the rest will come as soon as possible because this is what i call cram time. it's very close to christmas and we've got a long way to go. so enjoy and stay posted!**

thanks to everyone!

Nuriel the Pirate

PLEASE REVIEW!


	3. Chapter 3 The Second Spirit

**Rouge-Pirate: **Yes, it is terribly sad. I hope you enjoy the next chapter!

**Chapter 3: The Second Spirit**

Warmth spread through his body and a scent of the salty sea drifted to his sences.

"Bloody Hell." He whispered and opened his eyes to see the bright sun, blaring down upon him.

He must have had a little _too much rum_ the night before. He was nowlaying on the beach of Port Royal.

But if he _had _drank a little too much rum then he would have an extremely painful hangover. But he didn't.

He groaned as he sat up, expecting pain to shoot up his spine. But it didn't.

Slowly, he pulled himself to his feet and dusted the sand off of himself. The waves of the sea softly lapped the shore, but other than that, there was no sound. He glanced upward and saw the clouds, permanently still in the sky. They were not in motion as they should have been. They should have been drifting slowly; wisps of white, across the sun. But they weren't.

Then he saw the oddest thing that he had ever seen: Birds were frozen, permanently, in mid-flight. It was the strangest thing.

Maybe there had been _something _in the rum.

He suddenly remembered Elizabeth, and ran to their house hoping to find her there. And he did. But she was frozen, just as everything else was. But she was not the only one in the house.

Captain Jack Sparrow was standing in front of her, holding up what appeared to be a corset, trimmed with ribbons and lace.

"Interesting, isn't it?" A voice asked him from the doorway. "It's like a three-dimensional portrait."

He turned to look at the owner of the voice and saw a man that had died very recently. It was his father-in-law; Governor Swann.

"Governor Swann." He inclined his head to the man.

It was then that he remembered what his mother had said.

"Are you the second spirit?"

He was a bit frightened by what he might see, going by what he had seen with the spirit of his mother.

"I am... but do notbe afraid. I'm here to teach you."

"I'm not afraid!" He defended himself angrily.

The governor didn't respond to this and continued.

"This is an odd scene that has been chosen for you to see." He remarked, staring at his daughter; frozen in the memory. "But it was, none the less, chosen for a reason. There is something here that you should see. It will help with what I have to teach you."

He snapped his fingers and instantly Elizabeth and Jack began to move.

"So, how does this go on," Jack mused, attempting to wrap the corset around himself. "I've seen many corsets, luv, but I only know how to get 'em off, not how to put 'em on."

Elizabeth paled slightly at the visual image that had put into her mind's eye.

Jack, who normally took no notice of expressions, had trained himself to be cautious around Elizabeth, and he noticed her expression.

"So," he loudly interjected clearing his throat. "Will should – er – like it."

"You think so?" Her voice lifted higher with hope.

"Yeah er– men love when women wear red."

She looked up at him, and he knew that she had taken it the wrong way.

Jack silently cursed himself under his breath.

"Are y' feelin' any– better?" He slyly placed his question into the conversation.

"Yes." She answered, and stared at her hands.

Jack silently reached over and touched her hand.

She looked up at him, her eyes brimming with tears.

"It'll be alright luv– kay? Ol' Jack'll take care o' ye."

"Oh Jack– I'm so scared that I might hurt him." She whispered, a single tear rolled down the side of her face.

Jack pulled her into a soft embrace.

"Come luv. William may be stupid, and a whelp, but 'e loves ye and I don't think ye could ever hurt 'im."

They froze again.

"You see?" Governor Swann asked. "Elizabeth is scared. You didn't help her in the least by leaving her tonight."

He felt a twinge of guilt in his gut.

"If only I had know." He whispered.

"If you had know, it would have gone differently. Am I right? Life has a funny way of not letting us know and laughing at us when we try to figure out the unknown... you simply have to seek it."

"I should have never let her go to Tortuga alone. I should have been there when it happened... I could have stopped it."

"Regret is a part of life, my dear boy." The governor said, twirling his feathered, black hat in his hands. "But I am here to help you overcome your regret. – Don't dwell on it. Step up to the opportunity my boy. You have a responsibiliy."

He didn't answer the governor.

"The night is young William. More will come to teach you. Take care of my daughter. You made a promise upon your matrimony. 'In sickness and in health. In good times and in bad. Till death do us part.' Elizabeth is still alive Will, and she is lucky to have escaped with her life. Take care of her, William. I trust you. It's your: Reponsibility."

He looked at the face of his wife, hidden in the shoulder of his best friend.

Slowly he reached towards her and touched a tear, frozen in time. It instantly became moist on his finger.

"Only you can dry her tears, William."

Blackness.

**So, I hope that you guys liked it. More is on the way, it's being typed continually following ths one. So stay tuned please!**

**Thanks, Nuriel the Pirate.**

**Nuriel the Pirate **


	4. Chapter 4 The Unexpected Spirit

**Rouge-Pirate: **I love wishful thinking. I can't tell you if you're being naive or not though, because that would give it all away. And yes, Jack's great.

**Chapter 4: The Unexpected Spirit**

Something sharp scratched his face. A musty smell filled the air. A feeling of dampness was all around him.

He groaned and rolled over, feeling a sharp rock underneath him. Looking up he saw cavernous rock.

"Depressing – Isn't it?" A cold voice sneered from beside him.

Quickly he turned over and laid his eyes upon the last person that he would have expected to be given a lesson on life from.

The man coldly laughed in his throat. "Ye didn' expect me, did ye?" The man chuckled.

"Barbossa?" He whispered, frightened by what he might be taught by this evil, madman.

"Yes, whelp. I'm here to teach you a lesson. It's not a lesson that I must seek revenge on you though. So ye can relax."

He didn't relax.

"Now, what have ye seen so far? What have ye learned?"

He didn't feel like sharing the information that Barbossa sought.

"Ye never were talkative, lad." Barbossa sighed. " 'less ye were protectin' that lass o' yers." He rolled his eyes. "But that's why ye're here, lad. Isn't it? Somethin's 'appened to the lass. Tragic really. But I guess that's the risk ye take when ye journey that godforsaken port without comrades." The tone in his voice didn't sound sincere, but sarcastic and mockingly cruel. "I'm not quite in the least bit sorry for 'er. Stuck-up lass never was kind ter me. Wish it were me that 'urt 'er."

That sparked something inside him and he leapt at Barbossa, seizing his neck. No sooner had he closed his fingers around it though, did Barbossa disappear.

"Such anger lad, it must be controlled." Barbossa mused from behind him.

He leapt at the cursed pirate. But Barbossa vanished right as he was about to make contact with his solid form. He lay on the ground, his head pounding, his chest heaving at an attempt to supply him air.

Barbossa kicked him in the jaw with his black-booted foot. Blood flooded his mouth.

"I wish I could kill you Turner. But I can't. You know why? — Because you have something Turner. You have something inside of you that burns. Love. I think that's what it's called. I want to see you die! You and your wife Elizabeth! And Jack! I want to make you watch them die! I want you to see them die slowly and painfully! Then I want to kill you! I want to see the life leave you! Because you took my life from me! But I can't! There will be a time and opportunity for that. Yer wife's been raped, for Christ's sake! That's right I said it. — Raped. Raped, raped, raped, raped!"

"Stop!" He yelled, covering his ears.

"Face the truth Turner! Your wife's been R-A-P-E-D; raped. Now do somethin' about it! Fight!"

He pumped a fist into the air and vanished.

His head began to spin, and he thought he would be sick from the flowing taste of blood. He closed his eyes and lay down, trying to ignore the spinning. "Raped." He whispered. "Oh Elizabeth."

Blackness.

**Sorry it took me so long to get this up. I had an idea for a story that wouldn't let me be, so I kinda had to get that out of the way before I could continue on this one. Sorry Christmas is over. Just pretend you're still in the season. And again sorry for the shortness.**

**Thanks for being patient,**

**Nuriel the Pirate**


End file.
